My first post!

Pin It Now! Okay... If you read the "about me" section, you may be wondering why I titled my blog "Finding Myself." I don't have it all together, I'm just blessed through the mess. I have always heard, when someone is going through something (usually in younger years) that they are just trying to "find themselves." So, here I sit at thirty-three wondering how do to that. Over the years, I have lost myself to my addictions, my latest being food. All around I have a wonderful life; however as we all have, I have had some rough years as well. This is a blog about losing the weight of not only emotional garbage but the years of turning (more recently) to food and to heal those hurts. God has been working in my life radically to heal me from a lot of my past issues and I know that He is my counselor. My problem seems to be ignoring that quiet voice and eating... well, sometimes non-stop just because I choose to.

So, the other day I went to check my email, and saw an article on Yahoo about people blogging in order to help them lose weight and I figured... why the heck not. I will journal the highs and lows of this journey and hope to triumph along the way. Maybe I can even find accountability in this. I know who I am in Christ, I KNOW... I just want to look as good as I feel right now in this moment. As one of my favorite songs by Mercy Me says, "Lift up your hands and lay your burden down." God--- here it is, take this burden from me!!

Here is a bit more about my choice to get back into life. When I was eleven my father passed away. The worst part about it as I look back now is that it was preventable. He died of a heart attack at 50 years old. He chose not to exercise or eat right. Now, I am faced with those same decisions and for the last five years, I have made the choice to let food and laziness reign in my life. I have three  A-MAZING boys and an INCREDIBLE husband who loves me for who I am, no matter what I look like. As I was contemplating doing the diet thing again, I realized that it was tragic for my dad to die young, and it would be tragic for me to as well. How can I leave my children, over something PREVENTABLE. So, today... I make the conscience decision to change the way I eat and the way I feed my family.

Of course, along with that comes the prospect of *sigh* exercise. I "run" on occasion and have pilates dvd's, ankle weights, a sand ball for toning, a total gym in the basement covered in dust... etc. That all changes... It changes TODAY!

I look forward to this challenge and Proverbs 16:3 says it wonderfully, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

Not looking back to learn from your own history is, well, stupid. How can I not look back and reflect on past mistakes and what I can learn from them. I have even led a Bible study on weight loss. I don't know why it didn't work for me. We did learn a lot, again it just comes down to commitment and the choice that we face. My future doesn't have to look the same as my past. Thank God. I hope you can join me in this quest to find myself!