Finding Myself: I give

Pin It Now! Finding Myself: I give: "I don't even know where to start. Okay... the good news? I went to see my new primary care physician and boy did I get a work up! He check..."

I give

Pin It Now! I don't even know where to start.

Okay... the good news?

I went to see my new primary care physician and boy did I get a work up! He checked everything! Good news is, all my levels were great! Genetics may play a role in my weight, but God blessed me with a good heart (literally)! Great news considering the heart history that runs in my family. Everything else checked out fantastic as well. Thank you Lord!!

Now.... the bad news.

I am seriously tired of sitting down to write this blog and having to tell everyone once again, I have not lost weight. At the risk of running my mouth and saying something bad (let's hope I can withstand that temptation), I really need to let it out.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!!

The other day, we went to a birthday party and you know what I thought about the whole time? How big my belly must have looked in the shirt I was wearing. I promised myself that I would do everything I could, to not feel that way again. The insane thing about that is, I do that to myself  EVERY day. Does it ever change? Uhhhh, nope.

Being addicted to food is... an addiction! What I am saying is that in essence, it would be the same as someone who is addicted to drugs, or alcohol. Minus the fact that you don't HAVE to have those things to survive. You have to eat! The other thing that I find amazing about addiction, (as you will recall, I wrote about my kids and why losing weight was so important for me to do because of them). If you ask a drug or alcohol addict if they want to quit for their kids, I think that 99% would say yes. Then, why is it SO FRIGGIN' HARD TO STOP THE ADDICTION?!?!?!?! Is it selfishness? Is it lack of commitment? Is it

Yep... I really did start out feeling this way. Alright, I still do. But as I was making coffee for tomorrow morning, I was gently reminded (thank you Father) of my last post. My wonderful 14 year old. And then it hit me like a slap in my face... I have been married for 10 years today. Just as I celebrated my adorable son last month,  I need to celebrate my winning lottery ticket of a husband, Brian. Okie dokie, I am going to bawl.

As a lot of you know, Linden came to me while I was single. Two years after I had him, I met the most amazing man ever (besides my daddy ;)). There are not a lot of men who would take up with a lady who has a kid. Only REALLY  special men. Truly, I am at a lack of words to describe Brian. Many of you know him and the genuine, kind, sincere, loving, HUMBLE, God-fearing and God-loving, compassionate, honest, incredible, and incredibly handsome man that he is... (yes, that is a lack of words as I feel like there are a lot more). He had some of those attributes when I met him, but only God knew where he was going, and wowsa, did he turn out good.

Thank you to my mother-in-law who raised him to be a true gentleman. You will never know how much that means to me. It is clear that he was raised in a loving climate, and I cannot thank you enough for that. If any of my boys end up half as good as their daddy, I know we did good.

Thank you Lord, you have molded him into... the man of my dreams!!!! I am so in love with you Brian Rice. Thank you, Brian for listening to the quickening in your heart, and opening yourself  up to allow God  shape you into the person you are today. It is only by God's grace that we are together.

I do not deserve you, yet here we are.

I so look forward to the next 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, (and on and on) years with you! Mmm, try not to be overwhelmed when you read that. Lol :D

I am still overweight. What else is new. Maybe one of these days I can post good news about that. But in the meantime, I will keep sharing the rest of my life with you!